The seven deadly sins.

7 foods for 7 moods.

Salutations my sweet lambs. There are seven days in a week, and whilst this allows multiple opportunities for general feasting, let’s try to be reasonable and give ourselves an attainable target. I’m thinking seven prime meals, each one perfectly suited to its sinful counterpart. Sometimes it’s good to be bad.

Lust: Cigalon, lunch, Chancery Lane.

Tricky to line up Lust with somewhere local, isn’t it? What is lust? Something you want and can just about justify? Something you simply want? A want then. So where to go.

Bob Bob Ricard? Too high key luxe. Clos Maggiore? Too “I’m definitely in love so I gotta woo the hell out of my gal.” But Cigalon? Cigalon hits the spot. This super plush and naturally lit venue is a nice balance of chic, sleek and discreet.

The menu is old school French served modern, and changes regularly as the seasons allow. There’s a great wine list to accompany your meal and the waiting staff know their stuff. Velvet circular booths and sweet art deco touches elevate the venue itself; this is a classical affair okay. Nothing says smitten like duck terrine and apricot soufflé.

Perfect for lunch with a different mistress each day of the week.

Greed: The Ned, Sunday Feast, Bank.

Where else could Greed possibly be based other than Bank? It’s apt, no?

The Ned is a stunning venue which just oozes wealth and is quintessentially decadent. Frankly, if your brunch venue doesn’t have a suited and booted doorman to let you in, I don’t want it. I didn’t choose the bougie life okay.

So. It’s a beautiful setting, that’s a given, but what about the food? Well there’s a lot of it. We’re looking at their Sunday brunching option AKA the Sunday Feast. And a feast it is. An unlimited biggest spread filled to the brim with lobster, oysters, salads, roasts, classic carvary trimmings, pancakes, french toast and approximately twenty-six million other choices. And a selection of cheeses.

Bring your stomachs (this is a weird commonly used phrase but okay) and your wallet, or conveniently forget your wallet and let your dining companion take one for the team. Whichever. At £48 per person, it’s not cheap but in the wise words of my personal hero Tom Haverford, sometimes you just have to “Treat yo’ self.”

Wrath: Blacklock, the “All in”, Soho.

When I think Wrath, I think heat and ember and grills and meat. I think meat. I think only meat.

Hello Blacklock.

If you want meat done right, this is your jam. The menu is vast, prices reasonable, and cuts varied. The “All in” is a great place to start; it’s literally a platter piled high with pre-chop bites, skinny chops, coal flatbread, and a side of your choice each. £20pp? Not too shabby.

And the sides! Let’s talk sides. Charred courgettes? Barbecued iceberg lettuce with anchovy dripping? 10 hour ash roasted sweet potato? Yes! I want all my starchy carbohydrates roasted in ashes before being brought before me. Fear me! I am strength itself.  

Pride: Sketch, A La Carte, Piccadilly.

The only thing more difficult to swallow than your pride is one of Sketch’s Lamb Cutlets. At £42 a portion, it should not be that tough. Yes £42. I know. Baby I feel your pain.

But hey man, it costs to be seen right? And you do want to be seen; you can’t leave without a selfie in the signature egg capsule toilets. It’s literally 65% of why you’re there and paying £5.50 for a double espresso (a double espresso that in all truth isn’t very good). Sketch is expensive and is also featured in just about every list of must visit blogger spots. Why? Because it’s pretty. Because it’s aesthetic AF and is essentially a pink hued pastel dream, the kind usually reserved for French arthouse movies or velvet fantasies. It is 100% style over substance and perfect for your inner vanity.

Gluttony: German Gymnasium, dinner,  Kings Cross.

Different to Greed, Gluttony is all about knowing your limit and ignoring it in the pursuit of pleasure. Nothing like some hearty German food to do the job.

A truly beautiful setting, this converted gymnasium is all massively arched ceilings and leather booths.

The menu is filled to the brim with hearty German and Austrian dishes. I’m talking schnitzels the size of a small European state, potato salad you can bury your face into, all kinds of weiners and dumplings galore. It would be very easy here to fill both your stomachs and your hearts with very good and heavy winter fare. And then to keep on eating, just because it’s so good you want to keep the party going. The desserts at German Gymnasium are no joke; save room. Indulge.

Sloth: Naru, lunch, Holborn.

Sloth is habitual. And you know what else is habitual? Looking at a vast and interesting menu…and selecting a chicken dish.

But that’s okay. You know chicken. Chicken doesn’t scare you. Chicken won’t disappoint you. It’s okay to choice chicken, as long as you’re in a place which serves chicken well. Like Naru.

Their fried chicken is a house speciality; it’s a trademark. And it should be because their Korean fried chicken is a spicy, tender, saucy treat. Frankly I’m just proud you sidelined Nandos. Good job you.


Envy: Bala Baya, Southwark.

Don’t you hate it when you’re out for dinner with friends (yes, multiple, I’m an optimist), and your number two buddy Jenny orders a dish which looks infinitely better than yours does.

“Wow Jenny,” you say slowly, forming each sound slowly, “that looks good.”

And Jenny smiles and flips her (naturally sleek) hair to one side and simply answers “Thanks.”

Then she digs in and is somewhat oblivious (or is she?) to your glare as you half heartedly fork a spear of asparagus which tastes of wilted dreams and garlic.

Well good news! Every dish at Bala Baya is a winner. Bad news is that you can’t possibly try them all in one sitting and so jealousy is unavoidable. If you’re lucky, your dining companions might allow you a bite or four of their dishes. If you’re unlucky, a meal will cost you friendships and feuding.

Get the burnt babka. Get it twice.

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Atyaég, ez a BABKA 😱❤️💕 tahinivel, pisztàciával, vaníliaszosszal, sült szilvával. Helyszín: @bala_baya London by @erantibi Már akkor beleszerettem az ételeibe, a fözési stílusába és a személyiségébe, amikor a @globalistakonyha altal szervezett budapesti pop up vacsorakon fozott, de az, amit itt, a saját éttermében adott, az minden vàrakozàsomat felülmúlta! Hihetelenül intenzív, buja, színes, közel-keleti ihletésü konyha, csodás kontrasztokkal, elegans, erös ízekkel, gyönyörü tálalàsban! Ééés, londoni magyarok, figyeljetek!:) save the date, àprilis 24-en jövök fözni, amint tudom a részleteket, írom! / OMG, this babka @bala_baya by @erantibi and all his other dishes, Im speechless!😱💕 Intense yet sophisticated flavours, beautiful plating, so many colors, ideas and little surprises in each dish! Cant wait to be back for our Hungarian pop up event in April! @erantibi thank you, thank you, Im soo happy to finally make it!:) you’re amazing!❤️Check my instastories for the other dishes. @erantibi @bala_baya @globalistakonyha #london #balabaya #amazing @babkabudapest @nemesvolgyi

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